PRETENDING TO HIDE

WHEN I WAS THREE I HID IN THE CLOSET IN MY MOM'S SEWING ROOM TO AVOID HAVING TO ATTEND MY THIRD BIRTHDAY PARTY. A DOZEN KIDS WERE COMING WITH THEIR DOZEN ADORING MOMS, AND THE PROSPECT OF HAVING TO BE THE PRETEXT FOR SUCH A GATHERING WAS SIMPLY TOO MUCH! THANKS, BUT NO THANK YOU! MIDWAY THROUGH THE BIRTHDAY PARTY MY DAD LOCATED ME IN THE CLOSET, AND HE LEAD ME TO THE TABLE IN TIME TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLES ON THE CAKE. I AM TOLD MY RENDITION OF "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME" WAS PARTICULARLY MEMORABLE...

So it was then, and so it is now. I never have been a very successful social animal (or human),
though occasionally I manage to be a good showman (or show dog).

I remember starting to have PANICS in junior high whenever I was asked what I wanted to do with my life. GOSH! I DIDN'T KNOW! All work seemed pretty meaningless to me. Could I just go to school forever? Please? Maybe I could teach, but my ideas were pretty heretical...I didn't think any school would want me. My nickname was OVERHANG: I wasn't really very proud of my big tits and belly. The girls in my school tended to flirt with other boys.